Fred heard a sound that night and hurried to the back door to see what was going on. Switching on the porch light he could clearly see the bushes were moving and had eyes. It was them! The liars! He grabbed his AK47 from the closet and without warning -mowed them all down!
Looking down he noticed a package on the step with a card that read, ‘A Gift for Fred.’
Clever, -but Fred was too smart for them! Using a shovel to pick the package up, and keeping it at arms length, he placed it in the metal garbage can and lit it on fire with his butane torch.
A thump banged down on his roof. It was them again! He ran to the attic, threw in a smoke bomb, slammed, sealed and locked the attic door. The sound of them screaming didn‘t bother him at all.
His attention immediately turned to the scrapping noise NOW coming from them trying to get in through his fireplace. He turned the automatic knob to the maximum and watched the blaze rage up the chimney. He heard them thrashing attempting to escape his furry. He just shook his head.
When the doorbell rang he was ready for them. The voice yelled, “Girl Scout Cookies!”
He put his shotgun threw the mail slot and blasted them all the way. He yelled out at the top of his lungs, “I am not an idiot! And you are ALL a bunch of liars!!”
Fred brushed off his hands and thought to himself , “Yet again, a job well done.”
He polished his shoes, laid out his grey suit, white shirt and black tie. He turned on his security system, brushed his teeth and got into bed. He would have to rise early tomorrow and wanted to get a good night’s sleep. It was April 14th and a good IRS man like Fred wanted to be ready for them.
Vikki
______________________________________
Pretty silly, huh? I’m swamped this week- but wanted to give you a little mood setter while you prepare your taxes. Happy tax filing and wishes for a big return.
I promise to have a new painting for you soon. I’m painting- just nothing I can show you right now. This painting is called the ‘Corporation‘. Orig. $395. Acrylic on Canvas 12”x 24”.
Like my work but can’t afford my prices? Check out the Special Offers page of my website.
Come visit Dante’s Pub. We’re having a blast. (Register and log in to see the post and talk with the artist.)
http://www.theredchairgallery.com/
http://www.theartistchallenge.com/
13 comments:
I'd like to know more about Fred! He seems pretty quick to the draw and I wonder why. :)
I like the painting too, a very engaging chaos. And I think since the subject is chairs, the painting is comfortable and manageable to look at for a length of time without feeling overwhelmed. Great work Vikki!
~Michael
Hi Michael-
I don't think I'd like to know anything more about Fred! But he did seem an applicable subject for our tax week.
I actually had an IRS person tell me the IRS DOES ASSUME TAX PAYERS ARE LIEING from the get go. What a sad commentary is that on people, huh?
The painting was fun to do.
Vikki
Hi Vikki
I think you'd have to be like Fred to do the job ...
The painting - what you can do with chairs my girl is everyone's inspiration ...
Hi June,
I agree that IRS employees must have really tough outer cores to do their job. It has to be very difficult on them psycologically to be under constant attack.
This is a painting I did last year and the only one that might fit the story. I've got several projects in the works right now. Hopefully I'll be able to show one soon.
Vikki
Hi Sarah,
Thanks. You got me! Michael Douglas in Falling Down is exactly who came to mind for me also. He'd be the perfect portrait of Fred the IRS man. I loved the end of the movie where he stood dumbfounded and asked, "You mean that I'm the bad guy?"
Writing these stories is a lot of fun and I like exploring the human condition.
BTW-I loved the peppermint thins and the peanut butter cookies.
Vikki
Well you did it again, I'm completely captivated by this painting and story!!!
keep em coming..no rest for the wicked I tell ya, pump them out...no break hear!
Loved it Vikki.
p.s. your art is as usual INCREDIBLE.
Thanks Sandy,
Fred is just the guy to keep us all on our toes this week, huh?
Vikki
I really love this painting, Vikki. The story is scary and probably a little too close to the truth -- not the truth about IRS guys but about the paranoia that is inflamed by certain media talk shows.
Hi Martha,
Thanks. And your right! It is interesting that something that's obviously an exaggeration farse could actually be scary. You make a very good point.
Vikki
Hi Vikki,
Oh, I love how your twisted mind works in your stories. LOL. I'm telling you, you should have some T.V. people you know use your short stories. They remind me of Hitchcock and the Twilight Zone episodes. They always have the dramatic twists in the end.
BTW, I finally posted something at Tasha's Take. I know, I've been bad.
Been making jerky all week. Let me know if you like jerky, I'll send some venison and bison jerky, straight from my kitchen. Hee, hee.
Have a great day,
Tasha
Hi Tashabud,
You are so funny and -sure. I’d love to try some of you jerky.
I have to tell you that I think I tend to write like that because I love stories and movies where the writer surprises us. You know, just when you think you’ve figured out who ‘done it‘- you’re wrong! That’s so much fun.
I’m off to read your new blog.
Vikki
the chairs looked disturbed and make a chilling back story for your chilling tale. Poor Fred went postal, but can you blame him or anyone in government jobs or banking right now....
Hi Odd Chick,
Thanks and I so agree. Working in a job like that would make the most sound person go nuts. They're under barrage of attack all day long. It's got to be a really tough career.
Vikki
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